Hello My Freaky Darlings,
It has been a while, a lot has been going on. I am still very much alive! I sit here tonight sipping a glass of wine, and thinking about a bubble bath.
Should I be drinking this? Probably not, but right now I am not currently medicated and have not been so it's all good. Sometimes we have to do things in life that we want to do.
I have to enjoy this, I am not sure when it will happen again.
There are A LOT of decisions I need to make heath wise. I love when conversations with doctors start with " maybe we should have done.... " It just warms my heart to hear that. I think to regain my heath, I am going to have to fight for it. I am tired of being told that in order to be healthy I must poison myself. Doesn't that sound like an contradiction in terms?
I am tired of medication that makes me sick, I am tired of what it is doing to me, I am just tired. I want to feel good again, I want to wake up and not feel so sluggish. I want to look in a mirror and not see sickness.
I just want to feel beautiful again...
mmk I promise not to be so down on our next chat ;)
xoxoxo
TBC
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Love is all ya need ;)
My son asked me tonight "what does Biology have to do with being family?"
My Reply " Not a damn thing"
My son: So why does it matter that we don't have the same blood?"
ME: I don't know sweetheart, I don't understand it either"
My Son: "I wouldn't pick her"
Me: for what?
MY son: To be my mom
Me: Ok..
My son: I pick you..
ME: All teary eyed "Thank you, that means alot"
My son: so should we do that thing, where we cut ourselves, then we would have the same blood
ME: No baby, we don't have to have the same blood for me to love you and be your mom
I am the mother of 6 children. I love all 6 of my children. Each and every one of them has a piece of my heart. This will not change. Please, DO NOT question this, please do NOT bring up blood and biology to me... My heart does NOT realize that I only physically gave birth to 3 of them. My heart only realizes that I have 6 amazing children, each of the different, but each of them MINE! It breaks my heart in this day and age, that blood and biology is brought up before love and care are.
I have many people that I consider family, most of them are of my heart. My dearest friend, my sister, is the sister of my heart. I refer to her as my sister, that is how my heart thinks of her. Most times, I forget we are not "biologically related" but that has never meant much to me... or her.. but love, love does.
Love is all we need in our family,
Till next time
TBC
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Lesson's Learned
I love to learn, if I could be paid to go to school for the rest of my life I would. I love being a student, and the AHAA! moment from when I grasp a new lesson.
This week I learned 3 very important lessons :) Two, are tied together.
Lesson #1
I have goals, goals attached to my business, goals that scare the ever loving crap out of me. They are so big and powerful in my mind and the vision is so real for me, sometimes it is hard for me to even believe that I WILL one day reach them!
I have been a doubting Thomas this week, I have begin to wonder if I was where I should be, and pursuing what I need to do...it is my opinion that it is an attack from the devil, the devil tries to destroy all that is good, and tries to get you off the path you are meant to go down, and he uses doubt and fear, the closer you are to where God wants you, the more he attacks.
I received 2 very POWERFUL affirmations this week, to confirm that I am indeed where I need to be!
Affirmation 1: a post card from my director, reaffirming my goals, and giving me a GO GET EM" Speech :) she sent it to me before she left for China!
Affirmation 2: I re-posted a neat picture of Pink Caddie's parading in Dallas for Mary Kay's 50th Anniversary. A dear friend posted a comment to my picture, that I was Next! She totally believes that I will win a Caddie, I think I cried when I saw her comment. It was everything I needed and more!
My lesson learned: Even when I don't believe in myself, other's believe in my dreams!
Lesson 2 was more of a bitter sweet lesson learned.
Lesson# 2
I confided in whom I thought was a friend, an important decision I am trying to make about my health. It was met with an incredibly ugly and hurtful remark. I was totally shocked by her words, that I could not construct a comeback at the exact moment of our conversation. I probably handled it wrong, but ehhh I am not perfect.
I posted this on facebook in response:
Oh and one more thought for the day! If your friend shares with you that she is contemplating a surgery that will help her remove cancer that she has been fighting... say a mastectomy or a hysterectomy..
Please do not in any way shape or form ask her why, or suggest to her that she is giving up, or hint that this will in some sort of way make her a freak and make her any less of a woman.
I promise you ANY woman in that position is looking for long term solutions that will keep her around, that will get rid of the sick parts, so she can be healthy... It is NOT a decision one makes lightly, and if she is sharing it with you, she is looking for support.. be thankful she thought you could be trusted with the information, and it will probably be the LAST time she trusts you with ANY information.
Just your everyday average public service announcement after all maybe she didn't realize she was being rude, and mean. Maybe she would see this and realize she offended me. Well, that didn't happen, and I did indeed have to take her out of my circle. :( That was the bitter part of my lesson. I learned that you can not trust everyone.
The Sweet: I had several amazing responses from friends that were encouraging and uplifting. It really made me feel better after the other incident.
It truly was a week of learning where I stand, sometimes it is good to know where you stand, whom you can trust. Life is a hard road, and it is not meant to walk alone. It is good to know who you travel with, and even who will help you carry your load for a bit when you can't.
It is also good to know that people believe that I will one day be in my own Cadillac, and truly believe in my business and my ability to do it well!
My heart is full today! Yesterday is over, it is time for a new day! It put's me one day closer to my love being home, one day closer to my Cadillac. I am off here to spend my day with the kiddo's, and tackle a mountain of Laundry!
Have a blessed Sunday!
TBC
This week I learned 3 very important lessons :) Two, are tied together.
Lesson #1
I have goals, goals attached to my business, goals that scare the ever loving crap out of me. They are so big and powerful in my mind and the vision is so real for me, sometimes it is hard for me to even believe that I WILL one day reach them!
I have been a doubting Thomas this week, I have begin to wonder if I was where I should be, and pursuing what I need to do...it is my opinion that it is an attack from the devil, the devil tries to destroy all that is good, and tries to get you off the path you are meant to go down, and he uses doubt and fear, the closer you are to where God wants you, the more he attacks.
I received 2 very POWERFUL affirmations this week, to confirm that I am indeed where I need to be!
Affirmation 1: a post card from my director, reaffirming my goals, and giving me a GO GET EM" Speech :) she sent it to me before she left for China!
Affirmation 2: I re-posted a neat picture of Pink Caddie's parading in Dallas for Mary Kay's 50th Anniversary. A dear friend posted a comment to my picture, that I was Next! She totally believes that I will win a Caddie, I think I cried when I saw her comment. It was everything I needed and more!
My lesson learned: Even when I don't believe in myself, other's believe in my dreams!
Lesson 2 was more of a bitter sweet lesson learned.
Lesson# 2
I confided in whom I thought was a friend, an important decision I am trying to make about my health. It was met with an incredibly ugly and hurtful remark. I was totally shocked by her words, that I could not construct a comeback at the exact moment of our conversation. I probably handled it wrong, but ehhh I am not perfect.
I posted this on facebook in response:
Oh and one more thought for the day! If your friend shares with you that she is contemplating a surgery that will help her remove cancer that she has been fighting... say a mastectomy or a hysterectomy..
Please do not in any way shape or form ask her why, or suggest to her that she is giving up, or hint that this will in some sort of way make her a freak and make her any less of a woman.
I promise you ANY woman in that position is looking for long term solutions that will keep her around, that will get rid of the sick parts, so she can be healthy... It is NOT a decision one makes lightly, and if she is sharing it with you, she is looking for support.. be thankful she thought you could be trusted with the information, and it will probably be the LAST time she trusts you with ANY information.
Just your everyday average public service announcement after all maybe she didn't realize she was being rude, and mean. Maybe she would see this and realize she offended me. Well, that didn't happen, and I did indeed have to take her out of my circle. :( That was the bitter part of my lesson. I learned that you can not trust everyone.
The Sweet: I had several amazing responses from friends that were encouraging and uplifting. It really made me feel better after the other incident.
It truly was a week of learning where I stand, sometimes it is good to know where you stand, whom you can trust. Life is a hard road, and it is not meant to walk alone. It is good to know who you travel with, and even who will help you carry your load for a bit when you can't.
It is also good to know that people believe that I will one day be in my own Cadillac, and truly believe in my business and my ability to do it well!
My heart is full today! Yesterday is over, it is time for a new day! It put's me one day closer to my love being home, one day closer to my Cadillac. I am off here to spend my day with the kiddo's, and tackle a mountain of Laundry!
Have a blessed Sunday!
TBC
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Soap Box, Firefighter style
I can tell you where I was 12 years ago today, I was dropping my son at pre-school so I could go be a firefighter. I was a single mom, a student, a firefighter and a waitress.
I watched "My Brother's" run into a building, I watched the building fall on them and the police officers and the people in the buildings, at that moment my heart broke, being in the fire service, and being trained as a firefighter I knew the outcome was not going to be good.
I can NOT explain to you the pride I had as I watched them rush into the building. People often wonder why they charged with such passion, but I know why. I have done it myself. There is a moment when you place the people that need help, above yourself, when you know that there is a good chance you will get hurt in that process, that is such a self-less act, it is in that moment you are a hero.
It was great to see the country rally around each other and help each other out, strangers became friends, friends became family, and for a little while we were united.
People remembered that firefighters, EMT's and police officers were important, before that day it seamed that only members of the Military Service were recognized for their sacrifices.
Please understand I am not saying that being called to a foreign country in the time of war and being away from your family for months at a time is the same as what I did in the fire service, Remember my spouse is deployed so I see both sides of the fence.
As a firefighter I was called to action during dinner, grocery shopping, school plays, 3 am, etc. I worked at a Volunteer station, so that 3 am call to a house fire, was done.. for free. Think about that next time the fire department is raising funds in your area ;) Most fire stations in the US are volunteer that gives a whole new meaning to public service.
I want to know..What happened to that UNITED America? Where people would go out of their way to help one another? Where people were not judged based on religion, gender or skin color?
I have seen some posts on my FACE BOOK wall, from people that I have respected for many years that have shocked me the last few days. All I can do is shake my head.
I am sorry that the bikers were denied their permit to rally, but they filed it AFTER the Muslims did, so they were granted it first. It has to do with improper planning, nothing else.
The post I am thinking about talks about Bikers CONFRONTING the Muslims because of this... UMMM you just turned something beautiful, like remembering this Horrible day, and gathering together ..into a pre-meditated hate crime.
The last time this world saw a group of people "confronting" a religion was NAZI Germany, and millions of Jews died simply because they were Jewish. If you continue to think this way, and to treat innocent Americans this way, you are no better than Hitler and we are headed for another Holocaust. o_O
Not every Muslim is a terrorist, and not every German is a Nazi, this needs to be a billboard somewhere I swear!!
We are Americans and we need to remember that and act accordingly.
I watched "My Brother's" run into a building, I watched the building fall on them and the police officers and the people in the buildings, at that moment my heart broke, being in the fire service, and being trained as a firefighter I knew the outcome was not going to be good.
I can NOT explain to you the pride I had as I watched them rush into the building. People often wonder why they charged with such passion, but I know why. I have done it myself. There is a moment when you place the people that need help, above yourself, when you know that there is a good chance you will get hurt in that process, that is such a self-less act, it is in that moment you are a hero.
It was great to see the country rally around each other and help each other out, strangers became friends, friends became family, and for a little while we were united.
People remembered that firefighters, EMT's and police officers were important, before that day it seamed that only members of the Military Service were recognized for their sacrifices.
Please understand I am not saying that being called to a foreign country in the time of war and being away from your family for months at a time is the same as what I did in the fire service, Remember my spouse is deployed so I see both sides of the fence.
As a firefighter I was called to action during dinner, grocery shopping, school plays, 3 am, etc. I worked at a Volunteer station, so that 3 am call to a house fire, was done.. for free. Think about that next time the fire department is raising funds in your area ;) Most fire stations in the US are volunteer that gives a whole new meaning to public service.
I want to know..What happened to that UNITED America? Where people would go out of their way to help one another? Where people were not judged based on religion, gender or skin color?
I have seen some posts on my FACE BOOK wall, from people that I have respected for many years that have shocked me the last few days. All I can do is shake my head.
I am sorry that the bikers were denied their permit to rally, but they filed it AFTER the Muslims did, so they were granted it first. It has to do with improper planning, nothing else.
The post I am thinking about talks about Bikers CONFRONTING the Muslims because of this... UMMM you just turned something beautiful, like remembering this Horrible day, and gathering together ..into a pre-meditated hate crime.
The last time this world saw a group of people "confronting" a religion was NAZI Germany, and millions of Jews died simply because they were Jewish. If you continue to think this way, and to treat innocent Americans this way, you are no better than Hitler and we are headed for another Holocaust. o_O
Not every Muslim is a terrorist, and not every German is a Nazi, this needs to be a billboard somewhere I swear!!
We are Americans and we need to remember that and act accordingly.
Monday, September 9, 2013
The Battle belongs to the Lord
So I have been mulling over some news, news that I wasn't expecting, news that I was not wanting... but it isn't going to go away yet.. no matter how much I want it to.
The treatment route I want to go is expensive, but in the end.. I think it is going to be in my best interest to go that route.
So we still have a battle yet, but fear not..the battle, it belongs to The Lord, and in Jeremiah 29:11 He has promised me Hope, and a future.
I am a little disappointed, but it is what it is, it is time to move on to the next steps, This has by no means messed with my faith,nor my spirit :)
I love this song by Mandisa! It is an awesome reminder! That I will overcome every trial!!
Till next time !
TBC
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
The shortest year in history!
Good Tuesday/Monday morning! Yes I know it is Tuesday, but for those of us with kids.. it is our Monday.
I am being nostalgic this week, I got an email from my company, it was awesome! It said:
I am being nostalgic this week, I got an email from my company, it was awesome! It said:
|
.jpg)
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Remember Me?
Have you missed me? LOL probably not. I took a 2 week vacation to get my routine in for school. It's been hectic with getting a routine set.
I have done ALOT since we have last met, I did extreme makeover office addition in my house, I will be sharing some pictures of that in the future.
My kiddo's came back from their grammy's house. YAY, school started!
Anddddddddd my inner circle has become a little smaller. That was a hard decision... The hardest I have had to make in a while, but I think it is for the best.
OH! and completely happy news, my sister's hubs came home for a short time ( he is Military, and has an assignment in another country) I was very excited for her!
This was birthday weekend in my house, JR God certainly has blessed me with him.
He is an amazing son. I can't say he is just my step son, that is no where near the truth, when you are blessed with additional children they become children of your heart, and it doesn't matter if you are the birth parent, they are your child. I will fight for him, love him, and enjoy his teen years.
We were up pretty late last night... well I should say early this AM, so I am off to sleep :) I just thought I would check in and say, yes I am alive.
I am not sure if this is read, but even if it is not... it is good to have a way to express feelings :) I will check back in tomorrow, I have a lot of posts to make :)
xooxooxx
TBC
I have done ALOT since we have last met, I did extreme makeover office addition in my house, I will be sharing some pictures of that in the future.
My kiddo's came back from their grammy's house. YAY, school started!
Anddddddddd my inner circle has become a little smaller. That was a hard decision... The hardest I have had to make in a while, but I think it is for the best.
OH! and completely happy news, my sister's hubs came home for a short time ( he is Military, and has an assignment in another country) I was very excited for her!
This was birthday weekend in my house, JR God certainly has blessed me with him.
He is an amazing son. I can't say he is just my step son, that is no where near the truth, when you are blessed with additional children they become children of your heart, and it doesn't matter if you are the birth parent, they are your child. I will fight for him, love him, and enjoy his teen years.
We were up pretty late last night... well I should say early this AM, so I am off to sleep :) I just thought I would check in and say, yes I am alive.
I am not sure if this is read, but even if it is not... it is good to have a way to express feelings :) I will check back in tomorrow, I have a lot of posts to make :)
xooxooxx
TBC
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)